Melbert's Personal BLog

Holidays

2006-12-13T20:28:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas time once more. You know what this means! It means gift giving, reunions and parties. It's the time of the year wherein we drop everything else and spend time with families and friends and celebrate this festive season. Remembering the gifts and joys of christmas.

This year, I treated myself to a long overdue gift. I bought myself something I really wanted for a very long time now. And now it's here. I present to you Excalibur:

It's an ovation celebrity guitar. Complete with it's own guitar tuner, and pickup. The stylish black turtle back body and rosewood fretboard is just way too cool for a newbie like me. I had the chance to use it in a party with my sisters and their officemates. Here are some pics of the Band

From left to right JM on lead guitars, me on rhythm and Erik on Percussions. Here's a shot of us doing Erik's song "I'll follow you by Gin Blossoms".

Here's a picture of us together with my sisters rio and rea doing a cranberries medly.

I have to admit playing the guitar with friends and my sisters really made the holiday joys rush through my system. I cant wait when we can get the free time to play again. I bet they had a great time. I did.

Retreat

2006-05-14T10:16:00.000-07:00

While the world is going "In you face!" and everything is not going your way, take a step back. Take a rest. Try to shake off whatever is bothering you. Then make a clear and informed decision on what to do next. Relax and breathe. For those hardcore in the getting things done, remember that "failure is not an option". Retreat on the other hand does not mean failure. Far from it. It's taking another look on what has happened and assessing what needs to be done next.

For example, I've been clearly in hell for the past couple of days. Projects coming in left and right. The work load is not getting any lighter. And with the exodus of some of my best colleagues, I am tasked to take over their duties and work. But before I call it quits and declare that this is not working out for me, I take some R&R with my buddies. Relax and think things through. And before you know it the solution is smiling right back at you. I believe the keyword is delegate. The issue is not whether I can do the job or not. It's if I can do it effectively and efficiently in line with the other tasks assigned to me. And the answer is simple. No. So after talking to some of my bosses, we have reached a compromise. And now I will be delegating some of my tasks to some of my able peers.

Enough about work. For this entry Im posting pictures on what I did to get my mind off work.

This is me taking a step and leaving my mark in the world.

Presenting the amazing Chikka Dance Troupe.

Mr. Miyagi's new students practicing in the beach.

Pakners mala Mel&JAY. Me and Ms. Donna the emcee's for Chikka's Orange Party Olympics.

Me and Bossing Chara at the Orange Party.

Allen, Sheena, Zander, Sheng and me at the Orange Party.

Poetry

2006-03-18T03:04:00.000-08:00

As I was thinking of someting to write. I came about asking myself questions that I have never been able to answer. And so in my hapless attempt to express myself I answer the questions I make.

How do you say goodbye to a friend?
Whom you've never known personally.
What memories, conversations or ideas could you possibly say?
Where your only distinction of places is her absence.
When you've never said Hi,Hello or good day.
Why should the world stop turning and eterninty end today?

Animated

2005-10-07T10:36:00.000-07:00

I was browsing through the blog of one of my old buddies trebs, when I came about a coolsite southparkstudio . After 5 minutes of figuring out how to use the darn page I came up with the picture on the left. Apparently, that's how I would look like if I was casted in south park. Together with the ipod and the guitar thinggy.

Living colors and vibrant images have often been associated with a well rounded person. Right now, I can honestly say, that I have a well rounded lifestyle. I work like hell, drink as if there is no tommorow, party hard, play sports like my honor depended on it, get to commit to my religious obligations and have time for my family. I was talking to a buddy of mine recently, and I realized that I am still pretty much animated. I am very active considering my workload and my schedules.

I guess I can consider myself very lucky to be able to juggle and do a lot of balancing act on my work habits and lifestyle. Our boss one said "You can either add years to your life or life to your years". I could'nt have said it any better.

hibernating

2005-10-05T08:58:00.000-07:00

Me and My dad sleeping like a log. My sisters took it to show how me how much we are alike.

For a while I have left this habbit of expressing myself in a box well hidden. And when I almost started forgetting that I was actually doing this religously before, I came across somebody elses blog. So I was reminded, that there is something that I should be doing. Not because I need to but because I can.

It matters not, that I am not pursuing my graduate studies. I can always continue it some other time. More important matters need to be attended as of the moment. The need to pursue someone is really not an issue now. I have learned to appreciate the good things in life. It appears the best way for you to realize the better things in life is after you have been down for a very long time. And you have nowhere to go but up.

I went to the province a few weeks ago. My family had forced me to meet up with my uncle who just arrived from overseas and my aunt who was about to leave for the US. For the longest time I could ever remember. I slept. Without worries, without antyhing on my back. I have to admit it was the best sleep I've had in months.

And so now I awake. From deep slumber to see my family awaiting me to join them in dinner. There are things in life far more important than money or career. Bigger things than you and me. In a movie someone once said "When I look at you I see two people. Who you are and who you are supposed to be. Some day these two people will meet. And when they do, they will achieve great things".

Distance

2004-12-13T02:11:00.000-08:00

Is not measured by time it takes for me to get to you. Neither is it the measured by the space and between us. Distance is the acknowledgement of a limit or a boundary. Which is why some people who have exceeded their limitations say, I have gone the distance. Or when they say it gets me from point A to point B they unknowingly acknowledge that there are 2 boundaries. Two points that represents 2 ends.

For me, distance is my latest decision. To go out of the country. Work in foreign lands. Work alone, in the absence of my peers and loved ones. And with refuge of memories held so dear to comfort me in my moments of solitude. Distance is taking risks and accepting that I will have to sacrifice my Graduate studies. For my work has limited my time and my actions. And has rendered me in a dell, unable to cope and resolve my acads.

I have acknowledged the fact that there are limits. With which I must base my decisions. Such as the the boandary between compromise and sacrifice, friends and lovers, holding back and letting go. I have suffered, endured intolerable pain and survived. I have lost everything and I have gained everything back. I am what I made myself to be. And I thank God for never leaving me. I have gone the distance. I have traveled far and wide. And so now I prepare for my journey home. To where family, friends and people held so dear awaits. I cant wait to say I've been to the end and back.

Favorite

2004-09-05T09:38:00.000-07:00

Everyone has a favorite. My winnie the pooh tie is my favorite tie. It reminds me of a major event that my dad had to attend. It was even published in the newspaper. And he was wearing that tie. The irony is that he is a lawyer overseeing the signing of a huge contract with the some military folks. And he ran out of tie's because I had all his mark spencer ties in the office. So he had to bite the bullet and settle down for my good friend pooh bear.

My favorite pastime is tinkering with my computer. I always like to experiment. What if I do this and what if I do that. Sometimes the results are disastrous. I loose data, I destroy a device or worse crash the entire PC. But there are times when I get lucky. When I learn new things. And I get to maximize using my computer.

But out of all my favorites, I guess love will have to be my favorite pain. As it is, love is a fallacy and truth altogether. What else can give you only the promise of hope and the certainty of pain other than love? One would think, that after showing negative responses to a person that person will stop, be discouraged or get the message that I dont like you. Not me. You see, Im more of a realist. I give the people the credit called doubt. And I rename doubt with respect. I believe that everyone is entitled to have a favorite. A person might have a favorite suitor. There's no problem there. I dig that. In the same line of thought understand that the person that I love just happens to be my favorite as well.

Shoes

2004-07-30T20:27:00.000-07:00

Someone once noticed that I had new shoes. Contrary to popular belief, I wear my shoes not to drive away fashion savvy and interesting people. I am very sentimental about these things. Most of my shoes were given to me by my dad. It's a link between me and him . We dont get to talk a lot. But as far as I can remember he has always been giving me shoes since I was a kid. So it reminds me of my dad. The lessons he has taught me. What he has done for me and my family. Often times I look down. Specially when I have failed.When I am tired and weary. And I see my shoes. I am reminded by the places I've been. The things I have done. And the people who care and believe in me. It's funny how small things such as this can brighten up one's day.

2004-07-08T08:12:00.000-07:00

Melvin and sisters

Sayings

2004-07-08T07:57:00.000-07:00

This week melvin reflects on things he actually said(or at least he thought he said):

"I'd rather go and lookback, than to stay and watch you walk away."

"Ahhh to love! Tis trading one pain for another"

"There are doctors for these kinds of things!!"

"There came a time in my life, when someone took my idea of the perfect girl, destroyed it, and replaced it with her picture."

"I am not sensitive. Im just very sentimental."

"I dont like her! I love her! There's a difference.

It just so happened that I cant post anything worth seriously contemplating during the weekdays. But the blog page was calling me. Must write something. Until my next entry. Ciao.

2004-07-08T07:45:00.000-07:00

Melvin's Wonder Years

2004-07-03T09:40:00.000-07:00

melvin's new header

Hope

2004-07-03T08:19:00.000-07:00

So I find my back against the wall. I’m getting more paranoid everyday. I don’t know what’s worse, knowing too much or not knowing anything at all. Many times I have found things not going in my favor. Failures, mistakes seem to be a common thing to me now. And yet I can’t help but feel upset whenever things don’t work out for me.

A friend once told me, in life we have been pre programmed with the idea that with every action comes an equal reaction. Causality suggests that for everything you do there is an equivalent result. And so we go to school with the idea that if we graduate, we have a better chance on landing on a good job. We work, knowing that if we do our job well we’ll make a living or get a raise. But not everything in life has to be like that. In fact, the most essential concept in life does not adhere to the rule of causality. And so we see many people struggling with it. Love, does not follow the rules of action and reaction. At least not strictly. When you love someone, there is no guarantee that you will be loved in return. When you court someone, it does not endow the person you are courting to respond to your actions. So when you are looking for results, for responses and for reasons, don’t look for it in love. Least you’ll find the understanding it as a very daunting task. For people who get by, they immediately try to accept that Love is something that you cannot understand. It is beyond you and me. It does not conform to any norms or rules. In short do not waste your time trying to understand something that can never be understood.

And so I ask myself why invest my feelings on something that is not certain? Something that I cannot fathom or understand. The answer is simple. I do so because of hope. In life as well as in love, nothing is for certain. There is no assurance that everything will run smooth as planned. Things can go wrong. People get hurt. But it is hope that shall see you through all these trials. “It is hope that drives me through the day, and more importantly hope that sees me through the night. It is through hope, that love shall lead me back to you.”.

Yearning

2004-06-27T10:01:00.000-07:00

Someone once told me that the time you really miss someone is when that person is right there in front of you. I find it to be quite ironic and disturbingly true altogether. Perhaps what they are referring to is a yearning for someone else. A side or a psyche of the person they are with. Or worse, they fear that the effects of being in such close proximity with someone they hold so dear is about to end. And so they anticipate the inevitable aftermath.

I came to realize that when you say I miss you to someone, what you are actually saying is I don’t want you to go. Or I want you to stay. Or I don’t want this to end. Funny isn’t it? How people can’t say directly what is aching in their hearts. I, among many people have the knack of making simple things complicated. I now find myself asking questions. What if, tomorrow becomes next week? And Next week becomes next month? And next month becomes forever? Will I ever find the answers I seek? As always I find the answers emotionally disturbing.

Exactly how long has it been since I was last with her? Twelve days 2 hours 4 seconds and 2 heartbeats have passed. As I am writing this entry, I am comforted that the long wait is finally over. I no longer care about the past. And tomorrow doesn’t seem as important than today. There is only now. And so now I yearn.

2004-06-22T21:13:00.000-07:00

Melvin at work

Silence

2004-06-19T06:01:00.000-07:00

If there has been anything new this week, it's that I've been silent in the past few days. I guess I went overboard going senti mode during the last few days. Sometimes, in our attempt to make the people around us feel special we fail to consider what matters most. As said in the "Little Prince", what is essential is invisble to the naked eye. This week I lost track of what was essential. And it has changed my life forever.

I now try to be more sensitive on the little things. For sometimes they are more significant than what we perceive to be of importance. Because of my failure, I seek refuge in the silence of my solitude. Here I lay and reflect on what I have missed, on what I have done. And I am comforted by the peace of silence. Sometimes you need to be alone to realize these things. Because in acknowledging your failures you come about to the conclusion that you are responsible for the things you do. You were a part of the failure. There was something that you could have done. Ergo you are still in control of your life. And you live with the promise that you still have the chance to fix the mistakes you have made.

My friends have been telling me that I am too quiet in my approach in a lot of things. They say that it is not good. I will appear weak and people will try to dominate me. I will be unable to impress people if I sulk in silence. In my defense, why ruin silence? When silence is the language I use to express how I feel. I can get rowdy sometimes. I can be loud if i want to be, specially when I am mad. But it is when I am silent when I savor every moment that passes by. It is in silence where I thank God for the chance and when I pray for the moment never to end.

Enough about the my melodramatic sentimental babbling. I have posted several new mp3's in the yahoo briefcase. This time Maureen is the one who is singing. It's a lot cleaner and smooth. Perfect for this weeks entry. But it also means that the songs are more simple and others may say bland. You may say that it's also no good. But it was hard for me to set it up so backoff.. Hehehehehe. I do appreciate the posts from friends who drop by and make entries in the tag board. For requests, inquiries and complaints just make your mark on the tag board on the right side of this page. I'd like to dedicate the last song i uploaded to 2 people. To Abbie, mau's best friend and to ate shawie who is going to be celebrating her birthday soon. The title of the song is "One of these days" by michelle branch. Cheers!

Milestones

2004-06-10T07:39:00.000-07:00

They say that year 25 in a person's life is a huge milestone worth of commemoration. I dont get it. What's the hype about being 25. Do I have a car, no. Do I have live on my own, hell no. Am I in a relationship, dont say bad words. Hehehehehe.

They say that the rest of the populace start stopping counting birthdays at age 25. I can remember the cake prepared by my officemates this morning. They just had 1 candle. They say that after 25, you start using only one candle in your birthday cake. Otherwise the neighbors might think there's fire in your house because of the number of candles in your cake if you have one for each year that has passed.

While the rest of the world is asking themselves about success and career at this point in their life. Im gratefull to have reached this age. I look back and just laugh at all my failures and awkward experiences. I have grown. I think what's more significant was God has given me a chance to grow. 25 years of it. And so I move on. Living life without regrets.

For our webcast fans check our yahoo briefcase account. I have uploaded new mp3's. A cleaner version of my Immortal, Officially Missing you(with the twins haplessly trying to do a duet) and You First Believed. Enjoy.

Trying

2004-06-06T09:22:00.000-07:00

Good day friend. As promised I am haplessly trying to keep this weblog as updated as possible. Though there is not much to say about the days that has passed by, there has been a lot of development.
For quite sometime now, I've been seriously contemplating in making crucial decisions in my career. New ventures, possibilities and challenges. Im kinda takin it easy in the last few months.

Specially that I've already started going to graduate school, things are not looking financially stable for me. It's a good thing I have great friends and a loving family who supported me in this endeavor.

I have also been trying to get to know this special someone. And I have no idea where I stand as far chances are concerned. So far the approach has been to be more relaxed, carefree and non idealistic. I have realized that in my past approaches in courting, I have often imprisoned myself in the cages of ideals and fantasies. I guess, I wasnt myself. I dont plan, I improvise. Hehehehe. So far it doesnt look good for me. It seems that Im not the only one who has been wooed by the goddess who has been driving me mad these past few days.

As promised to our webcast acoustic fans I am posting here some URL's for our mp3's. For now , all I have are some jamming sessions. I'll be updating the links later, to have a more decent recording. But for now, I guess this will have to do. A picture of things to come. Go to yahoo briefcase . Login as "next_of_kin2000" with password "fetalvero". Click on My Documents link to download the mp3's available.

As you can see I've been very busy in the past few days. Too many risks, choices, and things to be done. I figured, if I dont start trying I'll never get anywhere. If I dont make decisions, take risks and learn from them, i'll never find out. If I have a future else where, if I can survive graduate school, if me and my sisters can excel as a band and if she's the one. So I guess this week I'll be trying.

Genesis

2004-05-26T01:33:00.000-07:00

In the words of my generation, "Hello World". This is my first log in this BLOG. I think it is only apt for me to explain what the hell a BLOG is, for the benefit of the those who might be scratching their head everytime they hear that word. A BLOG is a slang for Weblog. It's kinda like an online journal. The first thing that it reminded me was Doogie Howser MD. In my opinion expressing one's self is a healthy routine. Specially for the depressed, the stressed, the people who just like to speak in the third person point of view. After surfing for the whole day in the office, I finally found something worthwhile to do. I'll be updating this BLOG as often as I can. So if you are interested in me, or in my mishaps, visit it every once in a while. I look forward to my next log. Ciao.